Hello and welcome to my blog.
The opinions and ideas I share in this space are what I believe, practise, value and do not necessarily reflect the views of others. While I understand that not everyone may agree with my perspective.
I believe that sharing my experiences and insights can help others in their own journey.
People pleasing, perfectionism, and burnout are all closely related, as they all stem from a desire to be accepted and to avoid failure. People pleasing is the habit of always putting the needs and wants of others before your own, often at the expense of your own well-being. Perfectionism is the drive to always be perfect and to avoid mistakes at all costs. And burnout is the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can come from constantly striving to be perfect and please others.
People pleasing can begin as a habit in childhood, as children learn to seek approval and acceptance from their parents and other authority figures. This habit can carry over into adulthood, where people pleasers may constantly put the needs of others before their own in an attempt to be liked and accepted. This can lead to feelings of resentment and a lack of personal boundaries.
Perfectionism, like people pleasing, can also begin in childhood, as children learn to strive for perfection in order to please parents and authority figures, or to avoid criticism and rejection. As adults, perfectionists may have a hard time completing tasks because they are afraid of making mistakes, or may become perfectionistic about their appearance, career, or relationships. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and constant self-criticism.
Both people pleasing and perfectionism can lead to burnout. Constantly striving to be perfect and please others can be exhausting, both mentally and physically. Burnout can manifest as physical symptoms such as fatigue and headaches, as well as emotional symptoms such as depression and anxiety. It can also lead to a lack of motivation and a sense of hopelessness.
To overcome people pleasing, perfectionism, and burnout, it is important to set boundaries and learn to say "no" to others. It is also important to be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to make mistakes. Practicing self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and therapy, can also help. Additionally, it might help to shift focus from outside validation to inner compass, focusing on personal values, moral standards and aligning choices accordingly.
It's important to remember that you don't have to be perfect to be loved and accepted. In fact, striving for perfection can actually push people away, as it can make it difficult for others to relate to you. And it is also important to remember that making mistakes is a normal part of life and a necessary part of learning and growth. Taking care of yourself is the biggest gift you can give yourself. This will not only improve your own life, but also the lives of those around you.
Want to take a deeper dive into this material and learn to apply it ?
Personal coaching is a powerful tool for growth and change. If you are curious if it might be of help to you,
don’t hesitate to check it out and schedule a free call
I'm here to support you in your journey.
Hilde Verbeek Certified life-coach copyright © 2023